I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
