I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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