Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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