i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
