If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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