She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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