I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Everything about him screamed your future.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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