Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
