Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
