i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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