Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
