I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Bring me that man meat
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
