This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
