I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
