after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My vagina is officially offended.
So much Jack, so little girl.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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