the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Text me some of your sweat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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