If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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