Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
