tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
