You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
