**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
