I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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