I think my vagina is haunted
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
