2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
