No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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