it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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