I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
