I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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