Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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