Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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