Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
