I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
