Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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