She announced her abortion via fbk
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
