If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The Olympian is in my bed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
