I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come on in and take your pants off
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