Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
