im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
