He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Who died my cat blue again?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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