He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
