I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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