the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
