He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So squirting runs in the family.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
