fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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