he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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