I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
