i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
