Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
