margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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