I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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