I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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