i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
