YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
